Since Not Another Rat started on October 2nd, 2013 here, I had managed to stick to schedule of posting a minimum of once a week on every Wednesday or Thursday… that was until last week.
Funnily enough I did have a post fully written with every intention of posting it but the last couple weeks have been a bit strange as of late.
So strange that I was able to let them distract me from even the simplest task of editing a blog post and pressing publish.
Weak, I know.
But Here’s The Raw Truth
With all the excitement and build up for 2014 – I let myself crumble.
I don’t think it has been one particular issue that I’ve been facing but I finally let the pressure of my life take control of my emotions to bring me to the point of fear and constant negativity.
To be quite frank, I felt pathetic, even borderline depressed – anyone want to be friends with this guy?
Yeah, me fucking neither.
Without going into too much depth, I think the majority of it stems from the unhappiness I find in my job throughout my Monday – Friday, mixed with fear, uncertainty and everything else life throws at you. I guess trying to juggle a mortgage, relationship; friendships and family just brought me to the point of exhaustion.
My energy had been taken away and I guess the last thing I could make happen was a blog post.
The Silver Lining
There’s got to be a positive to all this right?
I don’t have all the answers yet and I know I still have so far to go but one can’t feel this much negative emotion and not be driven to change.
Even writing this all out feels liberating in the sense of acknowledging what I’ve been feeling. Identifying the biggest factor to why I feel like this and how it’s crippling myself to make further progress in the never-ending battle that is achieving independence.
I don’t write this post looking for pity but to help others understand that if they may be dealing with the same issues on their way to success, that it’s ok. I know everything in my life is the circumstance of choices made and the only way to create change is through making more decisions over the choices I’m making.
Be those choices wrong or right, it’s time to get my ass back into gear. I felt like I was making steady progress prior to new years and it looks like the break of habit over the break did more damage than good – lesson learnt for next year.
So, I Thank You
Thanks to anyone who reads this, to anyone who comments and to anyone who believes in what I’m trying to achieve as they go through their own journey.
At the end of the day we’re all human, all afraid of something – even our own success but at the end of the day – nothing in this life is certain and we all need to embrace the unknown.
That is one thing I’m certain about.
Stay tuned for an exciting month ahead!
Photo Credit: Alex E. Proimos